MADAM PHARAOH AS GODDESS ARTEMIS

KINGDOM PERSPECTIVE

with Remi Akano

E-mail: remiakanosr@believeandrepent.com

Not a few people who read last week’s piece saw it as “Afghanistanism.” Now, let me explain that. “Afghanistanism” is a concept first articulated in Nigerian journalism by, if my memory serves right, columnist Sonala Olumhese and it manifests in a writer going far a-field in search of a subject to write about in order to avoid confronting grave, difficult issues at home. Of course those were the days before the elder Bush and American invasion! Those were the days when that country was but a remote corner of the earth with little relevance to the well-being of our world! Now we know better, don’t we?

Anyway, I wasn’t playing Afghanistanism; I was not avoiding any issues, not least of all, the inelegantly tagged “Ettehgate”. No, I just wrote as I felt led. And that has to be the pattern for as long as this column shall last. So, please believe me; I seek to prove or disprove nothing by returning to the crisis at the lower house of the National Assembly today.

You see, I’ve been at great pains over the matter because I sincerely wanted Mrs Etteh to succeed as much as, if not much more than, our other sisters have done in the various assignments they have handled, particularly at the national level. Deep inside me, I believe that the continued success of the “Esthers” in our land would rouse the “Josephs” from sin and pride-induced slumber. But here we are, unfortunately, faced with the myth-shattering spectacle of a female Pharaoh!

If you are wondering what makes Mrs Patricia Olubunmi Etteh, Honourable Speaker of the House of Representatives, Federal Republic of Nigeria, a kind of throw-back from the ancient biblical days of Egypt, just let’s consider the facts together.

First, it is necessary to establish the single most important characteristics of the infamous Pharaoh of the bible, the one who “did not know Joseph” – a hardened heart. He had several opportunities to hearken to the voice of God through Moses and Aaron to let “my people go,” but utilized none. Plague after plague had little or no impression on him, until the very last which resulted in the death of all Egyptian first-borns. And even that did not stop him from pursuing the Israelites right up to the Red Sea. You know the story: the Red Sea parted miraculously for the Jews, but closed up to consume Pharaoh’s elite army.

Do you see any similarities? Madam Speaker has had several opportunities to demonstrate honour; to reflect her Christianity, if as her name would seem to suggest, she is one, by letting God fight her battles; to display exemplary leadership, but she let them all pass.

When the story first broke that she had authorized a whopping sum of N628 million for the renovation of her official residence and that of her deputy, she was outside the country; granted. But what happened when she returned? She maintained what her handlers might have touted as “dignified silence” but which, with the benefit of hindsight must now be seen as contemptuous “I dey kampe” silence! When the House finally convened and the issue was tabled, she could have dignified her office by not presiding at the session to select members of the panel being established to probe the allegations. She chose differently. Then if she thought she could ride the tide and coast home unscathed, the resort to violence by her colleagues on the day she was billed to testify before the Idoko Panel should have wiped out all such illusions. It did not.

One might excuse that by positing that as a pretty woman, she was probably no stranger to knights in shinning armour fighting to become the exclusive apple of her eyes; particularly as that legislative “roforofo fight” did not left no broken limbs and no flying dentures; and so no hospitals or surgeries were required. But how do you explain what happened when thing went several notches up and we had a lifeless body, hospital and a grave? Someone with half a heart would have been so remorseful as to simply walk away from the tragic drama. But what do we have? This woman is sitting not-so-pretty on the Speaker’s seat. She sure must have a stone where God originally located a heart!

Those who in the name of installing the “first female Speaker of the Federal House of Representatives” foisted this woman upon an unsuspecting nation sure produced after their kind, didn’t they?

I can imagine one question racing through your mind: Pharaoh’s heart was said in the Bible to have been hardened by God; is it the same with Madam Speaker? No, I don’t know for sure, but I can guess that if God allowed, it is so that evil may not triumph. For, had she played honourable and decent earlier, she might have swayed opinions in her favour to the detriment of our nation.

Now what next, you ask. Again, I do not claim to have the answer, but this much I would say, not even a hurried, peremptory adjournment of House plenary for more than a week can save this woman’s job. But as I say that I know that she, and her handlers, still have a lot of fight in them. So I can see them not giving up even at this stage.

All of which reminds me of a drama involving some of the early evangelists, goddess Artemis and the people of Ephesus in chapter 19 of the book of Acts. Permit me to quote the story in contemporary language as recorded in Eugene Peterson’s Message Bible:

“A certain silversmith, Demetrius, conducted a brisk trade in the manufacture of shrines to the goddess Artemis, employing a number of artisans in his business. He rounded up his workers and others similarly employed and said, "Men, you well know that we have a good thing going here-- and you've seen how Paul has barged in and discredited what we're doing by telling people that there's no such thing as a god made with hands. A lot of people are going along with him, not only here in Ephesus but all through Asia province. "Not only is our little business in danger of falling apart, but the temple of our famous goddess Artemis will certainly end up a pile of rubble as her glorious reputation fades to nothing. And this is no mere local matter--the whole world worships our Artemis!" That set them off in a frenzy. They ran into the street yelling, "Great Artemis of the Ephesians! Great Artemis of the Ephesians!" They put the whole city in an uproar, stampeding into the stadium, and grabbing two of Paul's associates on the way, the Macedonians Gaius and Aristarchus. Paul wanted to go in, too, but the disciples wouldn't let him. Prominent religious leaders in the city who had become friendly to Paul concurred: "By no means go near that mob!" Some were yelling one thing, some another. Most of them had no idea what was going on or why they were there. As the Jews pushed Alexander to the front to try to gain control, different factions clamored to get him on their side. But he brushed them off and quieted the mob with an impressive sweep of his arms. But the moment he opened his mouth and they knew he was a Jew, they shouted him down: "Great Artemis of the Ephesians! Great Artemis of the Ephesians!"--on and on and on, for over two hours. Finally, the town clerk got the mob quieted down and said, "Fellow citizens, is there anyone anywhere who doesn't know that our dear city Ephesus is protector of glorious Artemis and her sacred stone image that fell straight out of heaven? Since this is beyond contradiction, you had better get hold of yourselves. This is conduct unworthy of Artemis. These men you've dragged in here have done nothing to harm either our temple or our goddess. "So if Demetrius and his guild of artisans have a complaint, they can take it to court and make all the accusations they want. If anything else is bothering you, bring it to the regularly scheduled town meeting and let it be settled there. There is no excuse for what's happened today. We're putting our city in serious danger. Rome, remember, does not look kindly on rioters." With that, he sent them home (Act 19:24- 41).

The “Demetriuses” amongst us who want to die or kill for this modern day Artemis had better take to heart the warnings of the Town Clerk as contained in the last two sentences but one of this long passage which strike me as uncannily applicable to the current situation. Please read those sentences again with the following suggested insertions. In the place of “our city” put, “our democracy”; in place of Rome insert “some elements in the military” and in place of “does not look kindly on rioters” read “do not let opportunities pass them by.” You get the picture? It would read like this: We're putting our democracy in serious danger. Some elements in the military, remember, do not let opportunities pass them by.” That is why I say: Mrs Etteh, please, in the name of God, save our democracy GO!