...Whether it was the “Western Education is Evil” (Boko Haram) campaign, with its the mindless violence and summary justice inflicted on its leaders by agents of the State or; the cynical end-game being played across the land over the Niger Delta or, the theatre of the absurd that electoral reform and constitutional amendment have been reduced to by politicians, the same question that come to my mind is this: Where are the men, the real men? When will these self-centred, myopic, micro-thinking, devil-may-care boys grow to others-centred, far-sighted, macro-thinking, godly men?...
When men praise
Dreams are fulfilled
When men praise
Families restore
When men praise
The home is warm
When men praise
The enemy’s defeated…
Those are the words of one of the songs on the debut CD of Mighty Men of Praise, the all-men musical group of Christian Men’s Network Nigeria. Written by Daniel Nzekwue, one of the most prolific and versatile young men in ministry that I have had the privilege of calling my friend and co-labourer, it gets me thinking every time and all the time. In those few words he captured the power of praise and worship in the life and ministry of men, and sought to wean us away from the stiff starchiness that we tend to exhibit even in church. But, it has never ceased to get me thinking beyond the praise, such that I find myself substituting the word “praise” with such others like “pray”, “love”, “care” and etc. But recently, my favourite word has been “rise” – with very good reason.
Exactly one month ago, about two hundred men gathered at a church auditorium in the Surulere area of Lagos, Nigeria for the opening session of a four-day conference. Hosted by Christ Chapel International Churches (CCIC), the church founded by Rev Dr Tunde Joda over 25 years ago, Men’s International Summit 2009, was as it was titled held for five days. It is the theme of that event, “Rise, He Calleth Thee”, drawn from the Bible book of Mark 10:49, that’s the catalyst, the instigator of my latest version of Dan Nzekwue’s beautiful lyric.
Events before, during and since that conference have all confirmed what many of us drawn into men’s ministry have been agonising about - the need for men to rise to higher levels of manhood. Whether it was the “Western Education is Evil” (Boko Haram) campaign, with its the mindless violence and summary justice inflicted on its leaders by agents of the State or; the cynical end-game being played across the land over the Niger Delta or, the theatre of the absurd that electoral reform and constitutional amendment have been reduced to by politicians, the same question that come to my mind is this: Where are the men, the real men? When will these self-centred, myopic, micro-thinking, devil-may-care boys grow to others-centred, far-sighted, macro-thinking, godly men? But, these are matters for another day, hopefully.
For the moment, allow me share with you some of the highlights of the conference. So motivated were we in the Organising Team for the men’s summit, which I had the privilege of chairing that, in our search for a theme song, somebody wrote these lines: “Rise, He calleth thee/ Rise from blindness/ He calleth thee to sight/ Rise from lethargy/ He calleth thee to refire/ Rise, He calleth thee; “Rise, He calleth thee/ Rise from grabbing/ He calleth thee to giving/ Rise from compromise/ He calleth thee to constancy/ Rise from self/ He calleth thee to serve/ Rise, He calleth the /; Rise from fear/ He calleth thee to faith/ Rise from anxiety/ He calleth thee to peace/… Rise, man in the gap/ Rise you are His method; Rise, Christ calleth thee/ Rise, He calleth thee/; “Rise from the grind/ He calleth thee to His grace/Rise, He calleth thee; “Rise, He calleth thee/ Rise from Gloom/ He calleth thee to Glory/ Rise from the valley; He calleth thee to the hilltop/ etc” Pity, it never got put into music!
Delivering the opening ministration, Rev Clyde Oliver, senior pastor of Maranatha Christian Centre in Florida, USA, says Jesus is calling the men to rise to their duty as fathers. In a message titled The Difference a Father Makes, he drew extensively from the scriptures to illustrate the pivotal place God has placed fathers. He pointed out that God closed the old covenant with this significant statement in the very last verse of the Old Testament, Malachi 4:6 – “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” This, according to him, demonstrates that God places great premium on father-son relationships. And he proceeded to illustrate it.
Drawing the examples from God, the Father’s relationship with Jesus and subsequently with all of us who have became sons and daughters through faith in the Lord Jesus, he identified public affirmation as one of the major ways fathers can truly motivate and strengthen their children. He cited God’s proclamation of Jesus right after his baptism in the book of Luke: “And the Holy Ghost descended in a bodily shape like a dove upon him, and a voice came from heaven, which said, Thou art my beloved Son; in thee I am well pleased" (chapter 3:22). This was as public as it could get. But he also cited the example from the Mount of Transfiguration where the Bible records God’s affirmation of the Lord Jesus to a select audience of five, namely, Moses, Elijah, Peter, John and James, the last three who would subsequently play major roles in founding of the Church. To this elite group he not only affirmed him, he commanded them in these in “a voice out of the cloud” words: “…This is my beloved Son: hear him” (Luke 9:35).
Rev Oliver climaxed with this powerful assertion: “When our hearts are filled with security and love from an affirming father, we start living from the approval of our father; not for his approval.” How many of us are still living for the approval of our parents rather than from it and in their love and security? How many of us fathers are giving our children the kind of affirmation that they need to go out and make the difference? The absence of such godly affirmations may be responsible for the insecurity that many men exhibit today; an insecurity that leads many of us to grabbing and grabbing rather than giving and giving wherever we find ourselves – in corporate or public governance. It is an insecurity that reflects in the way we relate to the opposite sex at work, at play and even within marriages.
Talking about marriage brings me to some of the ministrations by Rev (Dr) Ronald Merthie, pastor of the New Life Word Center, Sanford, Orlando, described in one of our pre-event releases as a man with a testimony; one every man needs to meet. Although he ministered so powerfully on the subject of prosperity which he anchored on the principle of seed time and harvest, which he even demonstrated by giving away items of clothing, including a very expensive suit he was wearing, his frank talk on sex within marriage was particularly illuminating. So in your face was he about the subject in one of the earlier sessions, that women were barred from the Saturday afternoon “Men’s Roundable” In his opening ministration, for instance, he asked the question, how many men here like sex? The hall was quiet. He then wondered aloud: where did the population of 14 million in Lagos come from, if nobody likes sex!
Married for more than 30 years before his wife went to be with the Lord on May 15 this year, he said he could count on his fingers, the number of times his wife didn’t climax in sex. That is because he learnt to apply biblical principles in every aspect of their marriage, including in bed. No, I can’t tell you all that he taught in the session, but well, let’s mention one or two. To show how little men know about their wives’ body, he asked how much blood does a woman lose during menstruation. Nobody knew. How long does it take a woman to reach orgasm? No answer. Such ignorance, he says, is responsible for poor sex within marriage leading many to becoming explorers.
Dr Merthie addressed such issues as masturbation among men who think it’s probably preferable to getting into bed with another woman. He also spoke about the place of oral sex in general. The first, he showed from the Bible is a form of idolatry, while the other is an abuse of purpose bothering on poor stewardship of the body, which is a temple of the Holy Spirit.
As I reflected on the conference and the various issues deliberated upon, I became ever more persuaded that men need liberation, men need knowledge; men need to rise if our families, communities and the nation will develop, prosper and fulfil its divine mandate. And Men’ Ministry is a pivotal part of the mix. I plan to stay steadfast in the race. So, help me, God.
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