But today, the media is awash with reports of his secret sex life. At the time of writing, 11 women are seeking their moments in the sun of infamy, proclaiming that they had had the honour of sharing moments of animal passion with one of the world’s most famous, most handsome, and richest athletes. Of course, it may not all be true, but what is known is that Tiger has owned up to some “transgressions” and sought the forgiveness of his wife and two children. His statement reads in part: “I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family…”
We were saying last week that when the male’s God-given ego is abused it leads him inexorably to pride, which is the absence of humility. That is a veritable tool of the enemy. One of the results of pride is a self-dependence that leaves God out of our lives either entirely or partially. There is a sense in which the former is better than the latter. Trust me, it’s true!
It is better not to have God in your life entirely than to think that you have Him without really having Him. A state of unpretentious godlessness opens you to help, even if it is the prayer of do-gooders who have resolved to save your soul from afar. But to have what the Bible described as “a form of godliness” is the most dangerous state to be in. You deceive yourself and might succeed in deceiving others to believe that all is well with you. That is why Jesus says that they that are neither hot nor cold, He’ll spew out of His mouth.
That, believe me, is the unfortunate state of most of us men. Even when God in His infinite mercies reveal us to ourselves and we are convicted, our warped ego (Edging God Out, as my pastor friend, Gabriel Irokwe loves to emphasise), which is now full blown pride, prevents us from seeking help. So, the bacteria that triggered the disease transmutes to the virus that sustains it.
In no area of our lives as men is this more pronounced than in our search for relevance or significance which, make no mistake about it, is why God wired us with an ego. But as someone has famously said, when the use of a thing is not known or not fully understood, abuse is not too far off. So, our inbred drive for significance leads us to seek power to make money or money to buy power that we might boldly declare, “damn right, I am somebody!” That is why we’ll do just about anything to acquire money and power beginning with whichever one is within easier reach.
But, interestingly, we don’t have fulfilment, at whatever point we might have reached in the continuum; because power corrupts and money makes such a poor God indeed. That is why there is such a phenomenon as a powerful, influential man, awash with cash, but feeling empty. He tries to fill his emptiness with things and more things. Sex of the illicit, immoral type, more often than not, belongs on top or near the top of that list. It is so because it gives some kind of pleasure; gives an illusion of power and can be done in secret. It is this third element in the mix that makes sex attractive. But of course, as experience over the ages has shown, secrecy has its expiry date and the very best of covers are, sooner than later, blown.
Ask Tiger Woods. He is the man you want in your son or son-in-law. Or as Paul Edwards put it in a commentary during the week, “there wasn't a man on the planet who in some sense didn't want to be Tiger Woods.” He had it all. Handsome, sprightly, world champion golfer and stupendously rich, he has a ravishingly beautiful wife and two kids. And he could boast of a father who loved him and poured himself into him. To quote Paul Edwards a bit more: Tiger Woods “had a father who loved him—not just in words, but in action, pouring himself into his son, building a love that survives to this day, in many ways making Tiger the man he became. Try as we may, there aren't too many men who can lay claim to all of these elements of success at once. Tiger has it all, and it wasn't just handed to him. He came by his success through hard work and discipline. He earned it.”
And the side of him that the world saw until late November was so adorable, so squeaky clean that he was the ultimate role model. His Tiger Woods Foundation is doing all the right things; meeting the needs of the less-privileged, putting training programmes in place and generally just being a the nice guy next door. His investments have been wise. His general comportment has been exemplary. He was being considered for a Congressional Medal for his service to the game of golf and through it the society. His billion-dollar endorsement portfolio is the stuff dreams are made of.
But today, the media is awash with reports of his secret sex life. At the time of writing, 11 women are seeking their moments in the sun of infamy, proclaiming that they had had the honour of sharing moments of animal passion with one of the world’s most famous, most handsome, and richest athletes. Of course, it may not all be true, but what is known is that Tiger has owned up to some “transgressions” and sought the forgiveness of his wife and two children. His statement reads in part: “I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family…”
My heart goes out to this young man who will be 34 in about two weeks and I do pray that he is able to live it all down and eventually get back to doing good with his life. But it is necessary to point out that he is not the first to get to the pinnacle, be getting it right in virtually every area of life only to be tripped by the male ego gone awry. When our ego gets bloated we believe we can do things and get away with them; we fill the emptiness that success cannot with things that do not satisfy. We do not have real friends; we do not submit to discipleship, we are accountable only to ourselves. It’s one more powerful reason why all men need to belong to a Bible-based men’s ministry. Men, please don’t allow the enemy to isolate you. Women, please encourage your men in this direction.
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