For any male to mature into a man therefore, he has to be able to maximize his ego without slipping to pride; he has to learn to use his ego for the purpose for which God bestowed it upon him. To do that successfully, he has to be totally submitted to God; seek to exalt God by his actions and omissions, and avoid self-glorification. This has eluded most of us men. So, we live the “’I’m the boss” life - terrorising the family at home; oppressing subordinates at work; and pursuing narrow, self-serving agenda in public service. That is why the nation is the way it is. That is why men need to learn how to be men, real men; men who, like David, are ever willing to learn; men like Joseph, pursuing his dream with eyes firmly fixed on God; men like Jesus who did only what he saw His Father doing.
It can bear repetition that the Nigerian condition is a reflection of the condition of the Nigerian male. This, as we pointed out last week, is because wherever and whenever anything is going wrong, there is always a man. The state of our nation country last week buttresses this.
By midweek, there had been nobody statutorily in charge of Nigeria for more than a week. You know the story very well. President Umar Yar’Adua took ill and embarked on what somebody mischievously described as another medical pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia. The constitution required him to formally inform the National Assembly of the situation, and then hand over to the vice-president, Dr Goodluck Jonathan. He did neither. Instead diverse officials have been playing roles which Goodluck should have played in an acting capacity. By implication we had a collegiate presidency of faceless, unelected people running the affairs of the nation.
The point has been made that because the vice president received the sallah homage of Moslem leaders, and presided over the weekly Federal Executive Council meetings, it would be incorrect to say that he is not in charge. That would be self deception. Assuming, without that the vice president was de facto in charge, he certainly wasn’t de jure, that is statutorily. In other words were he to be bold enough to take any decisions as a stand-in president, such decisions would be invalid because the due process of handing over did not take place.
The furore resulting from this situation was yet to abate at the time of writing. First was a media report stating that the vice president was being pressurised to resign his position. Vigorously denied, though it was, it certainly is in the character of our political leaders who thrive in expediency. The goal obviously would be to prevent a situation where Jonathan, a southerner, becomes president by default in case the unexpected happens; a scenario that would short change the North, which turn it currently is to produce the president in the rotational arrangement they have foisted on the nation.
Into the fray came a group of opposition politicians and activists with a call on Yar’Adua to resign from office on account of inability to discharge his duties due to ill health. As with such things, the list of signatories to that statement has had its share of controversy, with some denying involvement. But the group, whether of 57 or 54, did pack quite a punch with such irrepressible, veterans of political struggles like Dr Tunji Braithwaite and Alhaji Balarabe Musa firmly on board.
Now, take a good look at the dramatis personae in this melodrama. They are men. The president who swears by the rule of law but omitted to do what the law prescribed is a man. The vice president whose position is being rubbished and doesn’t have the courage to walk is a man. Both wings of the Legislature, which should have taken a stand against the vacuum illegally foisted on the nation is led and dominated by men. Yes, it is also true that the group that has spoken out against the situation is also dominated by men, but even so those chickening out are also men.
It is possible to get statistical about this issue and seek to explain the dominance of men in this hall of infamy with the preponderance of men in the public space; but that would be lead to inappropriate comparison. Apples and oranges may be fruits, but how do you compare them?
That was the point made last week about the role God, in His sovereign wisdom, chose to assign to men. The man is the leader. He is assigned to lead at home, at work and in the community. He is specifically wired for the task. That is why the male ego is one of his most prominent attributes. As Evangelist June Newman Davis, put it in one of her books: “The male ego is what God bred into man to catapult his desires, motivations and attitudes. His ego makes him want to take initiative, be the leader, the provider, the protector of his domain. These are traits God created in all male species of life, therefore an important part of his nature.”
Ironically, it is this very important distinguishing nature of the male that’s at the root of most societal problems. The male in his immature stage misapplies and abuses this God-given attribute. So, it degenerates to pride, which Davis succinctly defines as, “a boastful assurance of one’s own resourcefulness eliminating his need for God…exalts a man and shows a covetousness for adulation, the very opposite of humility.” For any male to mature into a man therefore, he has to be able to maximize his ego without slipping to pride; he has to learn to use his ego for the purpose for which God bestowed it upon him. To do that successfully, he has to be totally submitted to God; seek to exalt God by his actions and omissions, and avoid self-glorification.
This has eluded most of us men. So, we live the “’I’m the boss” life - terrorising the family at home; oppressing subordinates at work; and pursuing narrow, self-serving agenda in public service. That is why the nation is the way it is. That is why men need to learn how to be men, real men; men who, like David, are ever willing to learn; men like Joseph, pursuing his dream with eyes firmly fixed on God; men like Jesus who did only what he saw His Father doing.
That is why we need men’s ministry. For ten years, Christian Men’s Network Nigeria has been at it vigorously. For all of those ten years, I have had the privilege of being involved, thanks to the confidence that my senior pastor, Dr Tunde Joda has in me and the team. Now, I feel called upon to do a bit more – in addition. That explains the birth of Kingdom Men, an independent ministry to men taking off this Saturday with a Men’s Breakfast Roundtable on the “Irresistible Husband”. Join us at 8am at CTEM Plaza, Ogba Bus Stop, if you can. If not, please join us in prayer.
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