As you read this, my wife and I are prayerfully marking the 29th anniversary of our marriage. We have indeed come a long way! I wish I could tell you that I have contributed a lot to the success of the marriage. But, no! I haven’t always been faithful or responsible or romantic. All the glory must go to God and substantial credit to Olufunmilayo Yinyinola - “Treasure,” to me and; “The Mummy,” to our children.
Yes, in the decade-plus since God has led me into ministry to men, He has tenderly revealed my weaknesses to me and enabled me to access his grace to get better as husband and father. And I can tell you how much content, depth and bliss that has added to our marriage and family life. But I am still very much work-in-progress. That’s why I take my assignment as a minister to men seriously; the objective being to encourage men not to lose as much time as I did before experiencing the bliss that God embedded into marriage and true kingdom family life at creation.
I am sure there are some among those reading me today, who have chalked up more milestones than I have; some less; some without the mercifully now disappeared pockmarks of unfaithfulness in mine; some with a bit more. No matter where you are in the journey, please note that it can be better.
This is, however, not a crash course on “How to Achieve Marital Bliss”. It is a warning to those who, as the Bible puts it, “think they stand to take heed lest they fall” (1Corinthians 10:12). And this is so crucial when you go beyond the scandal-mongering aspect of recent media reports on the marriage of world-renowned minister of the gospel, Benny Hinn.
Thanks to the voracious appetite of the media for that kind of news, it is no longer a secret that Evangelist Benedictus Hinn’s wife, Suzanne, filled for a divorce in February. They would have been married for 31 years on August 4. When the news broke, the esteemed, widely travelled man of God expressed shock that his wife took that exceptional step, because, according to him, they both still loved each other, though they no longer lived together. He also emphasised that in spite of everything there had been no case of infidelity on either side.
As has also become common knowledge, one of North America’s well-known tabloids, National Enquirer, in July published a photograph of the evangelist holding hands on one of the streets of Rome with Paula White, senior pastor of Tampa, Florida-based Without Walls International Church on July 13. In classic scandal sheet-style, the paper added salt and pepper to the story, published in its July 23 edition, with inset pictures of a bed and the interior of a typical suite in the hotel they were supposed to have stayed the night.
Both servants of God promptly denied any suggestion of unbiblical conduct. A statement on Benny Hinn Ministries website addressed to his partners said he” forcefully, categorically and absolutely renounce(s) the lies that have been spread about me and want to set the record straight with you. There is nothing inappropriate or morally improper about my friendship with Paula White. There has been no immorality whatsoever!"
In her own statement, Paula White said in part: “I publicly profess and forcefully renounce assertions that the recent trip to Italy to meet with Vatican officials suggests that the friendship is in any way improper or morally impure…I value my friendship with Pastor Benny and remain supportive with a deep respect of him, his family and his ministry. My relationship with Pastor Benny is genuine and pure and should not be taken out of context”
But Pastor Benny didn’t stop at the website statement. He opened up on his family life and hurts at a crusade in Oakland , California on July 30 and subsequently had clips aired on television networks such as Trinity Broadcast Network and Christian Broadcasting Network. And some of what he had to say should serve as eye-openers or at least reminders to all in pursuit of the abundant life that God promised to all his children. It is especially important to men, whether in ministry or some other calling.
Speaking straight from the heart, this man who has been used of God to heal many, physically, emotionally and spiritually, admitted to not having been as successful in his marriage as he is generally accepted to have been in ministry.
He told his audience: "We had troubles for a long time…we could no longer exist in the same house…And I would ask her often... 'Would you ever divorce me?’ and she would say, never because I fear God too much. She said, 'My covenant is with God, not you.' And I guess she could no longer handle it. One day she did it to my shock…We've had to be very quiet to protect the ministry, the work of the Lord…But sadly when you are a public person, everything you do becomes public."
Back-grounding the challenges, Hinn said in an emotion-laden voice: “I was so busy in the ministry, I was so caught up with the ministry, I forgot about my family…That's probably what broke the whole thing up…I often preached that ministry comes first, but I knew that teaching hurt my children…You know what? It's wrong…I'm here to admit I was wrong because the call of God first should touch the family. If you have no family, you can't go on anyways…I don't care how strong you are…I don't care if the anointing of God is mighty on you. Nobody wants to be alone. I don't care who you are…"
As Pastor Hinn spoke, I remembered the late Oral Roberts. At his home-going event, his daughter, Roberta said of their father: "He left his family behind, knowing they would be hurt. He chose to go where God's light is dim, then he chose to build that university that God called him to build. ... There may be some of you whose fathers or grandfathers made a similar choice. It hurts…” Mercifully Oral’s marriage thrived, but one his sons reportedly committed suicide as a result of morphine addiction.
Are there lessons for us in these? I certainly think so and I plan to learn them. Please join me.
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