HOW TO RAISE WINNING CHILDREN (2)

First of all, we model a love for God by making him the first priority in our lives. Be the same person in the home as you are at church. Be consistent. Again, be the first to do whatever you expect from your child. Pray and read your Bible openly before your children, so they can pattern their lives after you. Love their mother lavishly, particularly in their presence. Demonstrate a life of gratefulness so your children won’t grow up with demanding or presumptuous attitudes. Be quick to apolo­gize when you are wrong so they can witness your humility before God and the family. Finally, model a servant’s heart, demonstrating to your family the values of serving and sharing.”

As our Father’s Day Special, we carried an excerpt from the book, The Teleios Man last time on this page. In it, author Larry Titus identified four principles for raising godly children from the very famous Psalm 23.

The relevant verses as quoted from the NASB version of the Bible reads: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (NASB, emphasis added). He then proceeded to analyse the four emphasized above. Space, however did not allow us go beyond the first “make” process.

I had wanted to stop there but, one reader accused me of “leaving us hanging, just to sell your book.” Unkind, though it is, I thought to give readers a bit more this week and hopefully conclude next week.

Larry Titus, a great grandfather, describes the “lead” principle as The Modeling Process and he wrote as follows:

“Fathers, this is so important! We must demonstrate any behavior that we demand. Hypocrisy confuses a child. Our words will carry little lasting weight with our kids if we don’t practice what we preach. And we know for sure that they’re watching. As in every other area of life, our actions speak louder than words to our children.

“The following suggestions should go without saying, but I’m going to say them anyway. First of all, we model a love for God by making him the first priority in our lives. Be the same person in the home as you are at church. Be consistent. Again, be the first to do whatever you expect from your child. Pray and read your Bible openly before your children, so they can pattern their lives after you. Love their mother lavishly, particularly in their presence. Demonstrate a life of gratefulness so your children won’t grow up with demanding or presumptuous attitudes. Be quick to apolo­gize when you are wrong so they can witness your humility before God and the family. Finally, model a servant’s heart, demonstrating to your family the values of serving and sharing.”

To “restore” our children, the author wrote about what he called The Affirmation Process:  

“We might say that establishing discipline in the life of your children is only one side of the parenting equation. Another term in this side of the equation is the affirmation of your child. The math is simple: Discipline + Affirmation = Confidence.

“My heart breaks as I think of this. Nothing is more important in the lives of our kids than receiving constant affirmation from their fathers. This is a powerful weapon in our fight against generational dysfunction. This “building up” process assures our children have confidence as they face life’s pressures and challenges. Yet, many fathers don’t affirm their kids. Later in their lives, these children look everywhere for affirma­tion. Men, affirm your kids now, and keep them off wrong paths in their futures!

“Edify and compliment your children in front of others and correct them privately. Don’t threaten them or use fear tactics as a method of training. Take them with you and keep them near you as much as possible. Say, “I love you” and touch them often—hugs, kisses, and love pats are essential to emotional stability. Don’t call them negative names, i.e., “stupid,” “dumb,” “clumsy,” or “fat.” Don’t compare them with other children. Always respect them and honor their individuality. After they complete a project, don’t tell them how you would have done it differ­ently or better.

“Don’t allow yourself to be threatened if they take differing viewpoints as they grow older. Let them express different opinions without char­acterizing them as rebellious. As they mature enough to understand, explain the “whys” of your decisions. Jonas Salk said, “Good parents give their children roots and wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what’s been taught them.” Always keep in mind that affirmation is a building and strengthening process. By establishing confidence in them through your constant positive input in their lives, you create in them the ability to empathize and speak positively into the lives of their hurting peers.”

The “guide” step, wrote the 70-year-old man of God whom hundreds of men across the globe see as and lovingly called “Dad Larry” is The Instructional Process. He began this way: “It is imperative we develop in our children crystal clear priorities in life. These priorities include a strong work ethic, fulfilling their obligations and commitments, as well as learning how to behave around and interact with other people.”   

He went on to expatiate, and that is where we will conclude – next week, by God’s grace.                                 TO BE CONCLUDED.

HOW TO RAISE WINNING CHILDREN

 "'As a child grows in understanding and reasoning, we must establish discipline in the child’s life, teaching them the absolutes in life. These are found in the Word of God, embodied in the Ten Commandments as detailed in Exodus 20. Some of God’s absolutes include honesty at all times and regardless of circumstance, the worship of God alone, and the truth that stealing is always wrong and must be repented of with restitu­tion. We teach the truth that all forms of sexual activity outside of hetero­sexual marriage are wrong. Another primary truth is that authority must be respected.'"

This is a memo to all fathers and aspiring fathers on this all-important day, Father’s Day 2013. It is excerpted from chapter 7 of the book, The Teleios Man, written by veteran minister and mentor to men, Dr Larry Titus and published in Nigeria for West Africa, by KP Books. Read it, digest it and let it help you in your journey to becoming the Teleios (Complete) father.

“I know of no better guide for a parent to use in training children than Psalm 23. It provides the perfect outline for raising winning, godly chil­dren. In the same way the Lord was the Good Shepherd shaping David’s life, so should parents be deeply involved in shaping the lives of their chil­dren. There are several major objectives we should be seeking in raising our children.

“First and most importantly, we want our children to experience a personal relationship with God. This is not something you can accom­plish for them, but you can certainly share with them the message of God’s love and pray for the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

“In addition, our children must develop godly character and live by biblical principles. In so doing, they will become all God intended them to be, living responsible lives—people who are generous, compassionate, and sensitive to others.

“Throughout the training process of raising winning children, see your­self as the steward, not the owner, of their lives. Biblically, God possesses everything. We are only the stewards of his possessions, working on his behalf.

Good Parenting According to Psalm 23

“In Psalm 23, the Shepherd demonstrates four major tasks necessary to positively mold a child’s character: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (NASB, emphasis added). Let’s analyze this process by process:

The Discipline Process: The good parent “makes” the child.
“As a child grows in understanding and reasoning, we must establish discipline in the child’s life, teaching them the absolutes in life. These are found in the Word of God, embodied in the Ten Commandments as detailed in Exodus 20. Some of God’s absolutes include honesty at all times and regardless of circumstance, the worship of God alone, and the truth that stealing is always wrong and must be repented of with restitu­tion. We teach the truth that all forms of sexual activity outside of hetero­sexual marriage are wrong. Another primary truth is that authority must be respected.  

“It is imperative as a parent that you establish clear guidelines and expectations. For example, you might disallow any form of disrespect or “talking-back” or “sassing.” A defiant “no” should never be tolerated. This teaches them to respect parental authority. They must also learn to respect all other forms of authority. In so doing, they will learn the prin­ciples of submission. “Instruct them about what they can and cannot do and let them know the consequences of breaking the rules. Be sure to follow through on the consequences. This will teach them the necessity and benefit of setting boundaries in their lives.

“Let your children know that temper tantrums in all forms will not be tolerated. This will teach them self-control. Never allow them to raise their voice to you. Any questions or comments should be spoken at a normal voice level. This will teach them control of attitudes.

“Convey to them your expectation of the same behavior when they are away from you as when they are with you. This teaches them self-disci­pline. Finally, teach them to keep their word. This will teach them the foundation of all character. I recognize our current culture frowns upon corporal punishment. Yet, the Bible could not be clearer. God instructs parents to spank children in such passages as Proverbs 13:24, 22:15, 23:13-14, and 29:15. Because he does, it’s important to establish guidelines consistent with the Word of God.

“First, only use spanking as a form of punishment when the misbehavior is a direct act of rebellion. Spanking should never be a reactionary hit or a “slap on the wrist” but a deliberate and thorough action strong enough to be remembered as a firm consequence for disobedience. Spanking should be applied to the part of the anatomy that has the natural padding—the bottom-side.

“Secondly, physical discipline should always be controlled and never administered in anger. Spanking is an act of love and love cannot be administered in a fit of rage...  

Finally, after the punishment, the child should be hugged, affirmed, and told they are loved. Do not tell the child what they did wrong, but have them tell you what they did wrong. This way they will learn to admit failures…”

Happy Father’s Day, everyone. (CONTINUES) 

 

 

AMERICAN CHURCH BUILDS FOR NIGERIAN PASTOR

Rev Samuel Olanrewaju
...Beneficiary of Riverside Church's
Levites Project

“…The Olanrewaju family was evicted from their home when their Muslim landlord discovered they were praying in the name of Jesus. Within three months, God made provision available and a temporary house was hurriedly built for the displaced family, with the intention of constructing a more permanent structure in the near future. Ten years later, construction began on a permanent home. The Olanrewaju family spent $40,000 to lay the foundation and raise the first floor of the new structure. However, in response to the great need of missionaries in the field, all the family had was redirected to the work of the ministry. Faced with these needs, the Olanrewaju family sacrificially laid down their plans, and construction on their home was abandoned indefinitely in 2005…”

The Riverside Church, pastored by Preston Humphries, who you met on this page last week, is located in Norman, Oklahoma, about 10, 500 kilometers from Lagos, Nigeria. But that church has been in the vanguard of building a home for a Nigerian pastor, here in Nigeria. And the church sees the project, NOT as charity, but a duty!

Taking their bearing from the Bible book of Numbers, they style their effort The Levite Project.  The relevant verse reads: “And the cities which ye shall give shall be of the possession of the children of Israel: from them that have many ye shall give many; but from them that have few ye shall give few: every one shall give of his cities unto the Levites according to his inheritance which he inheriteth” (35:8).

Explaining this on their website which has been live since 2011, Riverside Church says: “The Levite Project honors the faithfulness of a priest who has served sacrificially without seeking anything for himself. The Levites - as the priestly tribe - counted God as their portion in the inheritance of Israel. Their homes were given to them by the other tribes in obedience to the Lord”

In a piece titled ‘A Matter That Grieves My Heart’, Pastor Preston rationalised his taking on the burden of providing a home for this Nigerian pastor and his family in these words:

“In recent months, I have come into the understanding that Reverend Samuel is virtually homeless. In all of his Kingdom advancements, our friend has literally emptied himself to fund the work of the ministry. His obedient generosity is responsible for the establishment of hundreds of churches and pastors throughout western Africa, and the salvation and deliverance of countless men, women, and children. Personally, Reverend Samuel has been a powerful and invaluable prophetic voice in my life and ministry. I am sure this is a testimony we share. Truly, Reverend Samuel has blessed us all.

“In response to his faithful service, I have a deep conviction to see Reverend Samuel and his family established in their home. I believe it is only righteous that we come together and build a home for the man who serves to bring security and prosperity to the homes of so many…”  

But, who, you may wonder, is Rev Samuel?

Information posted on the Riverside Church site had this on him: “Reverend Samuel (Olanrewaju) was called by God to be a witness for Christ among the unreached, hard to reach, and neglected people groups across Africa and around the world.

“He is married to a passionate prayer warrior, Florence Temilade, and they are blessed with six godly children, three boys and three girls…In addition to his natural family, Reverend Samuel has close relatives and adopted children living with him. His home - as an extension of his ministry - serves to house a divinely extended family of 12 people…

“As the President and General Overseer of Christ for Rural Areas Ministries (CRAM), Reverend Samuel oversees over 100 churches and hundreds of pastors and missionaries, reaching at least 13 unreached people groups in Nigeria and Benin Republic. Through the CRAM Community Life Center, he operates CRAM Bible Institute, which has produced over 200 graduates in the last 15 years, and has founded the CRAM Elementary School and Bassa Elementary School, each of which enrolls over 300 students annually... He serves as the appointed apostle in Nigeria and Benin Republic for the Heart land Apostolic Prayer Network - a network of over 6,000 churches.”

With such credentials, how did he come to be almost homeless?

In 1994, continues the write-up on Riverside’s website, “the Olanrewaju family was evicted from their home when their Muslim landlord discovered they were praying in the name of Jesus. Within three months, God made provision available and a temporary house was hurriedly built for the displaced family, with the intention of constructing a more permanent structure in the near future.

“Ten years later, construction began on a permanent home. The Olanrewaju family spent $40,000 to lay the foundation and raise the first floor of the new structure.

“However, in response to the great need of missionaries in the field, all the family had was redirected to the work of the ministry. Faced with these needs, the Olanrewaju family sacrificially laid down their plans, and construction on their home was abandoned indefinitely in 2005.

“Now, the temporary home that was hastily erected in 1994 deteriorates around them. Termites have eaten most of the roof, and what is left of the old roofing sheets is leaking. The walls are peeling off, the ceiling is falling down, and even the floors are breaking apart…”

Won’t you like to join Pastor Preston and his church “in responding as the church and establishing the home of a Levite among us?”

 

 

 

 

STOP COMPLAINING, BRETHREN! (2)

"Dr Larry reminded his audience that whereas the current ministry of the Lord Jesus is intercession; that of satan is accusation, complaint. As followers of the Lord Jesus, our ministry is to intercede and not just in prayer, but also by exercising the authority that is ours in Christ. So, whenever a believer resorts to complaining, murmuring and accusations, be it against, he/she is fulfilling the ministry of satan."

 

Preston Humphries, Senior Pastor of Riverside Church, in Norman, Oklahoma, I told you the last time took the can of Coke that had been lying on the pulpit as he ministered from ministered from verses 68-75 of Luke chapter one. He held it up and asked what it was. Of course everybody recognised the ubiquitous American brand and shouted it. He then proceeded to ask the billion-dollar can question: how can you rid the world of it? His answer: produce a better brand.

But this was not a lecture on product development. It was a ministration at the just concluded African Leadership Summit of Kingdom Global Ministries led by Rev Dr Larry Titus, author of The Teleios Man. This was a teaching on the very essence of salvation and deliverance from sin. We had been delivered so that we can help deliver others. If we are to be fruitful and fulfilled, salvation was not an end in itself; it is a means to an end. We were saved so that we can serve the savior without fear and in holiness and righteousness all the days of our lives.

The world has a sin problem. Sin is as ubiquitous as the Coca-Cola brand. So, if it will take a better brand to get rid of the soda king of the world, it will take a better way of life to get rid of sin – the holy and righteous life into which we were saved. You are that better brand that the world needs to get rid of sin. The world needs a better you!

Powerful insight, no doubt, but, as I told you last time, it didn’t end there. He went on to show that in delivering us from “our enemy and those who hate us”, as Zechariah put it in Luke 1:71, God didn’t stop there, He subsequently went on to equip us with all that we need to live the new life; He equipped us to be that better brand capable of doing the sin brand under.

The man from Riverside ministering at the capital city of Nigeria’s Rivers state took his audience to St Paul’s first epistle to the church in Corinth, chapter 12, which reads:

“Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal. For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will” (1Corinthians 12: 4-11). 

He went on to explain the essence and application of the nine gifts of the Holy Spirit declaring that those gifts confer authority on the believer to deal with situations and circumstances, personal or communal. All you have to do is pair the problem, whatever it may be with God’s solution and victory is assured.

Allotted speaking time over, Pastor Humphries whose parents were also on the contingent from the United States, handed the microphone over to Dr Titus, who seized the opportunity of introducing the next speaker to issue the warning that’s the title of this serial.

Continuing on the theme of Pastor Preston’s message, he pointed out that the authority of the believer, through the Holy Spirit and the nine gifts confers responsibilities on us. Now, if someone who has authority to deal with situations resort to complaining, wouldn’t that amount to shirking of responsibility? If that were all, it probably would be tolerable. But it’s far worse; its playing the devil’s game.

Dr Larry reminded his audience that whereas the current ministry of the Lord Jesus is intercession; that of satan is accusation, complaint. As followers of the Lord Jesus, our ministry is to intercede and not just in prayer, but also by exercising the authority that is ours in Christ. So, whenever a believer resorts to complaining, murmuring and accusations, be it against, he/she is fulfilling the ministry of satan.

Given the way things are in our land; with terrorism, kidnapping, corruption and ineptitude in governance at various levels as the order of the day, complaints and accusations seem inevitable. But here you have it, brethren; we need a change of approach. It’s time to stop complaining and take charge. That begins with me – and you. CONCLUDED