"'As a child grows in understanding and reasoning, we must establish discipline in the child’s life, teaching them the absolutes in life. These are found in the Word of God, embodied in the Ten Commandments as detailed in Exodus 20. Some of God’s absolutes include honesty at all times and regardless of circumstance, the worship of God alone, and the truth that stealing is always wrong and must be repented of with restitution. We teach the truth that all forms of sexual activity outside of heterosexual marriage are wrong. Another primary truth is that authority must be respected.'"
This is a memo to all fathers and aspiring fathers on this all-important day, Father’s Day 2013. It is excerpted from chapter 7 of the book, The Teleios Man, written by veteran minister and mentor to men, Dr Larry Titus and published in Nigeria for West Africa, by KP Books. Read it, digest it and let it help you in your journey to becoming the Teleios (Complete) father.
“I know of no better guide for a
parent to use in training children than Psalm 23. It provides the perfect
outline for raising winning, godly children. In the same way the Lord
was the Good Shepherd shaping David’s life, so should parents be deeply involved in shaping the
lives of their children. There are several major objectives we should be
seeking in raising our children.
“First and most importantly, we
want our children to experience a personal relationship with God. This is not
something you can accomplish for them, but you can certainly share with them
the message of God’s love and pray for the work of the Holy Spirit in their
lives.
“In addition, our children must
develop godly character and live by biblical principles. In so doing, they will
become all God intended them to be, living responsible lives—people who are
generous, compassionate, and sensitive to others.
“Throughout the training process
of raising winning children, see yourself as the steward, not the owner, of
their lives. Biblically, God possesses everything. We are only the stewards of
his possessions, working on his behalf.
Good Parenting According to Psalm 23
“In Psalm 23, the Shepherd
demonstrates four major tasks necessary to positively mold a child’s character:
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet
waters. He restores my
soul; He guides me in
the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (NASB, emphasis added). Let’s
analyze this process by process:
The Discipline Process: The good parent “makes” the child.
“As a child grows in understanding and reasoning, we must establish discipline in the child’s life, teaching them the absolutes in life. These are found in the Word of God, embodied in the Ten Commandments as detailed in Exodus 20. Some of God’s absolutes include honesty at all times and regardless of circumstance, the worship of God alone, and the truth that stealing is always wrong and must be repented of with restitution. We teach the truth that all forms of sexual activity outside of heterosexual marriage are wrong. Another primary truth is that authority must be respected.
“It is imperative as a parent
that you establish clear guidelines and expectations. For example, you might
disallow any form of disrespect or “talking-back” or “sassing.” A defiant “no”
should never be tolerated. This teaches them to respect parental authority.
They must also learn to respect all other forms of authority. In so doing, they
will learn the principles of submission. “Instruct them about what they can
and cannot do and let them know the consequences of breaking the rules. Be sure
to follow through on the consequences. This will teach them the necessity and
benefit of setting boundaries in their lives.
“Let your children know that
temper tantrums in all forms will not be tolerated. This will teach them
self-control. Never allow them to raise their voice to you. Any questions or
comments should be spoken at a normal voice level. This will teach them control
of attitudes.
“Convey to them your expectation
of the same behavior when they are away from you as when they are with you. This
teaches them self-discipline. Finally, teach them to keep their word. This
will teach them the foundation of all character. I recognize our current
culture frowns upon corporal punishment. Yet, the Bible could not be clearer.
God instructs parents to spank children in such passages as Proverbs 13:24,
22:15, 23:13-14, and 29:15. Because he does, it’s important to establish
guidelines consistent with the Word of God.
“First, only use spanking as a
form of punishment when the misbehavior is a direct act of rebellion. Spanking
should never be a reactionary hit or a “slap on the wrist” but a deliberate and
thorough action strong enough to be remembered as a firm consequence for
disobedience. Spanking should be applied to the part of the anatomy that has
the natural padding—the bottom-side.
“Secondly, physical discipline
should always be controlled and never administered in anger. Spanking is
an act of love and love cannot be administered in a fit of rage...
Finally, after the punishment,
the child should be hugged, affirmed, and told they are loved. Do not tell
the child what they did wrong, but have them tell you what they did wrong. This
way they will learn to admit failures…”
Happy Father’s Day, everyone. (CONTINUES)
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