First of all, we model a love for God by making him the first priority in our lives. Be the same person in the home as you are at church. Be consistent. Again, be the first to do whatever you expect from your child. Pray and read your Bible openly before your children, so they can pattern their lives after you. Love their mother lavishly, particularly in their presence. Demonstrate a life of gratefulness so your children won’t grow up with demanding or presumptuous attitudes. Be quick to apologize when you are wrong so they can witness your humility before God and the family. Finally, model a servant’s heart, demonstrating to your family the values of serving and sharing.”
As our Father’s Day Special, we carried an excerpt from the book, The Teleios Man last time on this page. In it, author Larry Titus identified four principles for raising godly children from the very famous Psalm 23.
The relevant verses as quoted
from the NASB version of the Bible reads: “The
Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for
His name’s sake” (NASB, emphasis added). He then proceeded to analyse the
four emphasized above. Space, however did not allow us go beyond the first
“make” process.
I had wanted to
stop there but, one reader accused me of “leaving us hanging, just to sell your
book.” Unkind, though it is, I thought to give readers a bit more this week and
hopefully conclude next week.
Larry Titus, a great grandfather, describes the “lead” principle as The Modeling Process and he wrote as follows:
“Fathers, this is so important! We must demonstrate any behavior that we demand. Hypocrisy confuses a child. Our words will carry little lasting weight with our kids if we don’t practice what we preach. And we know for sure that they’re watching. As in every other area of life, our actions speak louder than words to our children.
“The
following suggestions should go without saying, but I’m going to say them
anyway. First of all, we model a love for God by making him the first priority
in our lives. Be the same person in the home as you are at church. Be
consistent. Again, be the first to do whatever you expect from your child. Pray
and read your Bible openly before your children, so they can pattern their
lives after you. Love their mother lavishly, particularly in their presence.
Demonstrate a life of gratefulness so your children won’t grow up with
demanding or presumptuous attitudes. Be quick to apologize when you are wrong
so they can witness your humility before God and the family. Finally, model a
servant’s heart, demonstrating to your family the values of serving and
sharing.”
To “restore” our children, the author wrote about what he called The Affirmation Process:
“We might say that establishing discipline in the life of your children is only one side of the parenting equation. Another term in this side of the equation is the affirmation of your child. The math is simple: Discipline + Affirmation = Confidence.
“My heart
breaks as I think of this. Nothing is more important in the lives of our kids
than receiving constant affirmation from their fathers. This is a powerful
weapon in our fight against generational dysfunction. This “building up”
process assures our children have confidence as they face life’s pressures and
challenges. Yet, many fathers don’t affirm their kids. Later in their lives,
these children look everywhere for affirmation. Men, affirm your kids now, and
keep them off wrong paths in their futures!
“Edify
and compliment your children in front of others and correct them privately.
Don’t threaten them or use fear tactics as a method of training. Take them with
you and keep them near you as much as possible. Say, “I love you” and touch
them often—hugs, kisses, and love pats are essential to emotional stability.
Don’t call them negative names, i.e., “stupid,” “dumb,” “clumsy,” or “fat.” Don’t
compare them with other children. Always respect them and honor their
individuality. After they complete a project, don’t tell them how you would
have done it differently or better.
“Don’t
allow yourself to be threatened if they take differing viewpoints as they grow
older. Let them express different opinions without characterizing them as
rebellious. As they mature enough to understand, explain the “whys” of your
decisions. Jonas Salk said, “Good parents give their children roots and wings.
Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what’s been taught
them.” Always keep in mind that affirmation is a building and strengthening
process. By establishing confidence in them through your constant positive
input in their lives, you create in them the ability to empathize and speak
positively into the lives of their hurting peers.”
The “guide” step, wrote the 70-year-old man of God whom hundreds of men across the globe see as and lovingly called “Dad Larry” is The Instructional Process. He began this way: “It is imperative we develop in our children crystal clear priorities in life. These priorities include a strong work ethic, fulfilling their obligations and commitments, as well as learning how to behave around and interact with other people.”
He went on to expatiate, and that is where we will conclude – next week, by God’s grace. TO BE CONCLUDED.
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